Comments for Question(s) of the Day

Comment on World’s Biggest Problem by just_another_teen

just_another_teen — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:24:16 +0000

Look, the biggest problem is lables. I’m not talking about food lables. This is talking about how people just call eachother names. How people catagorize people in their brains. This is accounting for racism, teen suicide, and maybe it’s because of lables that people become “bad people”. People who do bad stuff were probably labled as a nobody or something in school. Just treat others nicely and not call people names. If we address this problem there wouldn’t be war or anything because people wouldn’t fight for reasons so stupid. It is so simple. If we fix this stuff like desease wouldn’t matter anymore because people would be so less miserable. People would be HAPPY. It wouldn’t matter who you are, you would be treated nicely. Nothing else really matters. The lables are the source of all these other problems. Don’t you get it?

Comment on World’s Biggest Problem by Matthew

Matthew — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 07:05:25 +0000

The rape of children is the world’s biggest problem. It leads to most of the other ills we suffer. It is endemic across all societies, all religions, creeds and races.

Children nor women are the property of men. All humans have equal rights and equal weight. The fundamental balance of power being based on the physical strength of men must end such that this problkem is addressed.

Women need to be educated as to what to look for. Children need to be educated as to what people may or may not do to them. Doctors and other medics need training in spotting the problem and dealing with the consequences.

The anger generated by unresolved childhood sexual abuse is destroying our world. It is harnessed by terrorism and despotic governments (the USA for example) alike to yoke the population to false causes.

Comment on Memory by cracked

cracked — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 02:28:06 +0000

this reminds me of bruce springstein:

You’ve gone a million miles
How far did you get?
That place where you can’t remember
And you can’t forget

and of letitia landon:

Were it not better to forget
Than to remember and regret?

Ah tell me not that memory
Sheds gladness o’er the past;
What is recalled by faded flowers
Save that they did not last?

Comment on Dating and Courting by S

Mon, 22 May 2006 23:11:58 +0000

I would like to note that urbandictionary.com’s definition of ‘dating’ is not representative of the entire population of people who use that word.

It is okay to use the term ‘dating’ to casually refer to what you explain as ‘courtship’ within Muslim society, especially for those of us who grew up or live in societies where ‘dating’ is the more common term used to explain the process. I agree with you, however, that the terms cannot be used interchangeably at all times because of their varying connotations among different groups of people

‘Courtship’, while having a more halaal connotation, is an antiquated term and can confuse someone who is not familiar with the process of Islamic courtship. Using the term ‘dating’ while explaining the permissible limits within Islam of male and female interactions would be a more appropriate option in this case.

However, ‘dating’ should be used with caution with those who are obviously averse to the term. For example, my mother nearly fell out of her chair when I recently told her that I wanted to start dating. She was lost in deep thought for the next 30 minutes until finally her apparent headache subsided. It was very difficult to explain to her that I in no way wanted to cross into haraam territory by calling it ‘dating’ because her interpretation of the word was extremely negative and seemingly set in stone.

Finally, with close friends who understand the broad definitions of ‘dating’ and ‘courtship’, we should be more open to using either word to describe the process of getting to know someone for the purpose of marriage. To many of us, it is the only way that ‘dating’ will sound less like a dirty word.

Also,
If two people who are ‘courting’ engage in activity that is not permissible within the laws of Islam, would their relationship automatically be called ‘dating’?

Comment on Rights of Minorities by .m

.m — Sun, 21 May 2006 00:46:47 +0000

My view is that fighting injustice is something that is an obligation on a community as a whole – a bit like a ‘fard kifaya’, such as burying the dead. Once one person buries a dead body, (s)he discharges the obligation for everyone, but until then, each person in the community has an obligation to do so. And I would apply this to all forms of injustice, that against minorities being just one of them…

As for who’s responsibility it is to inform, that’s a tricky one I guess. If you’re part of a persecuted minority, you may feel a lot safer keeping a low profile than raising your head above the parapet…

Comment on Cultural Norms by Jeebs

Jeebs — Fri, 19 May 2006 17:44:01 +0000

hmmm, i dont know what the specific situation is, but i would say, generally, one shouldn’t give up one’s *values* to accomodate someone else’s *culture* – because values transcend culture in the sense that they are about who we are, no matter where we find ourselves. when i say values im thinking of honesty, loyalty, modesty, kindness, etc.

are you referring to dilemmas like, should u stay at a gathering when others start to drink alcohol? or should you go out with a mixed-gender group as a guest, when you normally wouldn’t in your own social world?

specifics specifics!

Comment on Projection of Oneself by Jeebs

Jeebs — Fri, 19 May 2006 17:31:43 +0000

salaams,
i was listening to a hamza yusuf tape a while back, and something he said stuck with me. he was talking about humility and he said, if you are aware of your own humility, then it is not true humility. because being aware of one’s humility or goodness means you looking at it from above and seeing it, rather than truly living it. so in response to the question, i think that one can’t “capture” humility when speaking about oneself. rather, humility must exist within – it cannot lie in choice of words or speech, it has to be an actual belief that one carries with oneself. but in terms of how to talk about oneself, since all of us undoubtedly lack something in the humility department by nature of our imperfection as human beings, i would say, talk about your accomplishments or experiences when there is some benefit in doing so – not just to get a pat on the back or impress someone. if you fear that you haved mixed intentions for sharing, then hold back and reevaluate. on the aspect of how to actually achieve humility, that’s a different discussion. i think one way to humble oneself is to look at the example of our Prophet, as well as other role models we may have, and remind ourself how small and flawed we truly our, and how, at the end of the day, we’re just a regular person doing our best to give our best inshallah. sometimes we think we’re so great and accomplished b/c we have these fancy degrees and titles, but at the end of the day Allah’s going to look at the state of our heart, so what are we so proud of anyway? at the same time, we can look at Prophet Yusuf, who stepped forward and proclaimed his skill in the area of managing the grain supply of Egypt, because he knew that he could serve his people best by coming forward, and that in fact he had a responsibility to. i think one lesson from that is that we don’t have to feel there’s something wrong with letting people know what we’re good at – but we do need to check our intentions and pray that all that we do is truly for the sake of Allah. may He help us do great things for His sake inshallah, ameen.

Comment on Work by ABD

ABD — Wed, 10 May 2006 15:31:09 +0000

aristotle said that leisure is better than activity because men work in order to have leisure, and they go to war in order to have peace. hence the superiority of the philosopher

Comment on Chivalry by .

Wed, 10 May 2006 07:08:44 +0000

before i started reading the article i was thinking holding doors open, and thinking, i guess i might do that on occasion. but as for happily stepping aside to give a woman my place on a lifeboat … i’m sure we all hope it’s what we’d do, but it’s kind of a hard to claim to make until you’ve been there and done that (i.e. until you’re dead).

Comment on Dating and Courting by skarim

skarim — Wed, 10 May 2006 07:07:15 +0000

“Dating” and “Courtship” have two different connotations – even if one may be broadly considered part of another – if not different denotations entirely. Further, independent of what courtship in Islamic terms does allow/not allow, the concept of “courtship” clearly indicates a sharing of intention – getting to know each other for marriage; an end goal to the process – right from the beginning. The niyyah in of itself – so important to Islam – makes it unique, even if it may fall within the realm of what society broadly calls “dating.”

And thus while I agree that the two may not be mutually exclusive, given the connotation that “dating” has, I’m not sure whether we should use terms in our daily vocabulary that reflect – or rather, represent – societal trends not acceptable within our Muslim communities. While to an outsider, two persons “courting” may be seen as “dating” because of engaging in similar acts in public places, the reality may be quite different. And given what the word “dating” implies (see urbandictionary.com), why not use the word “courting”?

After all, there is a reason that two different names exist in the English vocabulary – they are definitely not the same thing.