Question(s) of the Day

Increasingly, men and women are marrying later, pursuing careers and trying to accomplish some sense of financial independence before getting hitched: a challenge for many Muslims in the West, as cost of higher education is becoming more prohibitive, and many are paying back loans years after graduation. For Muslim men, the aspect of obtaining financial independence is even more important as it is the responsibility of the man – in front of Allah (swt) – to financially provide for his family, and seeking this strong footing is often the main precursor to even thinking about marriage.

The (negative) repercussions of delayed marriage are many – so how should a Muslim man specifically balance seeking financial independence with seeking to complete their faith vis-à-vis marriage, especially if an early marriage can be more emotionally sound for him? What is the importance of financial independence, given that in this day and age, a woman is likely to earn and contribute financially to a family unit, more so than she could in the past?

Generally, it is more challenging to change one’s self than to change one’s surroundings.  Perhaps one can gain more things from changing one’s surroundings – one can then glean an opportunity to become more independent, learn more about oneself, and expand one’s mind without the confines of one’s parents’ opinions or thoughts.

How necessary is it for women to live with their parents if they have the means to provide for themselves and live on their own?  If one feels that she can be a better daughter by living apart from her family, should she move out? 

Which is better in order to improve one’s relations with his/her family?  Changing one’s self or changing one’s surroundings?  Are the two mutually exclusive?  Can one always change without changing her surroundings? 

*Questions as posed by R.